**Prescript–I wanted to say this before anything…people are going to assume I am talking about specific bloggers here and I am not. I am giving a broad generalization of whiny guys on and OFF the blogs. But that being said…this post was inspired by my friend Vk’s post today which pushed me to rediscover the real Kassy: the one who says what she feels and writes the things that she finds important. And I wanted to thank him for writing it and helping me find myself again.** Enjoy! 
Hey guys…its me! You know, the Kassy who used to write hardcore life shit but then crawled in a shell because she was scared of all the psycho stalkers, people exposing her private information, and just general nuttiness of many of her commenters?
Well….
I am back. While the job is kicking my ass, I figured I would at least give you something savory to settle in with until I can come up with a schedule that allows for more blogging and less stressing.
Here goes:
I am sick of guys whining.
Seriously. If I hear one more guy whine about girls or the world or ANYTHING, I swear to the heavens I will come to their door and shove a hard boot up their ass (you know they want it like that anyway).
For centuries, women sucked it up and played the hand of cards we were dealt. Almost everything was worse for us and the opportunity to BE anything other than a mother was not only unheard of, but laughed about! We were bought and sold (still are in some parts of the world), uneducated and were generally thought of as a lesser form of human being. We were nothing…or at least many women felt that way and were treated as such.
I think guys that bitch about feminists are really complaining about the wrong thing. If you want a world where women are still treated like garbage and not allowed to do or be anything, then go to some backwards country and leave us modern women alone.
Guys STILL have it better than we do.
For one, you DO NOT GET PERIODS. You do not bleed from your INSIDES once a month and suffer all the pain and shit that comes with it.
You are not constantly worried about getting raped or kidnapped or stalked or hurt.
Men still have that innate strength to not even contemplate that stuff that most women would kill for…only we do not have the luxury of having it because we are ingrained to fear.
And to be nice.
Be this. Be that. Make them happy. Make them comfortable.Love your man. Look perfect. Get a good job! Take care of your children! Don’t get old! DO IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nowadays, men do not have to do shit like we do.
So stop complaining.
Try a year in our shoes…you will scarred for life and know how much easier you have always had it.
PS–To all you non whiny guys who realize how easy you have it…thank you. You give me hope. I love you all.
Oh, SNAP. I feel the backlash a comin’. Prepare thyself.
And you know how I feel about whining.
I don’t think a man could for one day tolerate the bliss of menstrual cramps.
And I have a hard boot that you are more than welcome to borrow. Say the word.
Lemmonex–Right?! What is with all the whining? And for what? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRG.
Backlash a-bring it. After I wrote a quite nice post about my love for Chef and those guys starting tearing into me about getting old…AT 29…I have come to expect anything from whiny commenters these days.
freckledK–Not for a day…not a DAY! Let’s start a boot collection!
Oh, this is so timely. Seriously, you have no idea.
/throws a boot on the pile.
amen.
I agree.
I particularly agree that men still hold most of the cards, particularly the “alpha male” groups who think that mildly insulting women to get them to sleep with them and not accepting less than a 10 body/face wise, is the destiny of all men. And that a graduate degree makes a woman less attractive.
plbbbbbttt….
I’m not saying game doesn’t work, I just think it’s ridiculously insulting to 90% of the female population. And no, I’m not a raging feminist. I believe in equity, not equality.
Ok, so that was slighlty off topic, but I agree.
sing it, sister
Our Kass, kickin’ some ass.
With some guys, it’s like women just can’t win. We have to be just good enough to be pleasing to them (heaven knows that’s the center of my world), but not so awesome we intimidate them. And we’re supposed to bat our eyes and swoon at “pickups” that insult our intelligence and damage our hearts. Oh, and we can’t be funny unless, I don’t know, we tell fart jokes or hate on people. Bleah. Screw it. I’ll live my way.
There are good, kind, decent men out there. I’m lucky to be friends with many and in a relationship with one in particular. Unfortunately, most of the good guys have the horse sense to stay off the Internet. The Net needs a good guy invasion.
oh amen.
Try this, guys, try dating a girl and giving her everything and see how that works out for you. Give her your heart and your soul, as well as your money, keep your mouth your shut about anything she does wrong. Then watch her stop loving you because you’re no longer a challenge, and therefore not arousing. Oh wait, that doesn’t happen as often to you as much as it does to us.
Then try something totally different- try dating a girl and treating her like shit. Give her no respect. Watch her insecurities and exploit her. Yell at her all the time. She’ll crawl on her hands and knees for you. Disgusting.
Here’s the thing, no matter what approach you take with a woman, she probably will stay committed to you. But for us women, it is so much harder. No matter what approach we take, we can watch you walk out the door. Or bitch at us and get fat and lazy and unattractive. Or stalk us. Or both. The best is the leaver/stalker combo. Ladies, know what I’m talking about?
You have it so easy, you have no idea. You always will. Always. So quit your bitching. Or Kassy and I will come beat you up. I’m not joking.
Jessica–I am glad it helped. Boots Boots Boots Boots!!
SlightlyDisorganized–Exactly…I did not want to pull out one particular group of men because there are so many variations of whiny ones…but I am tired of it.
They have it SO easy and always have…its just exhausting dealing with that on top of them WHINING.
Muah.
MM–Can I get an amen….AAMMMMMEEEENNN!!
Shannon–Thanks girl! I agree…I had to add that note on the bottom…there are so many good guys out there and they do tend to stay off the web and blogs and I wish they didn’t.
We are lucky that we know enough of them in real life to counteract the bile we have to hear spewed about our species on a regular basis.
I am just tired of having to be pleasing and perfect and then getting smashed for something out of my control.
So sorry I do not look like your ideal woman and I am not 20. I guess that makes me worthless…I refuse to hear it and take it anymore.
Arg!
What, you aren’t sweetly submissive AND simultaneously in control of the universe/biology/your appearance? If you can’t win, change the game. And so long as you’re perfect to the people who care, who cares about anybody else?
This is me, closing my eyes and walking through the comments… hoping I’ll go unnoticed.
By the way, wrinkly old lady, you need to get married soon! You’re 29!
too easy…
Rina–Ah your first comment hit the nail on the head. Perfection. And us crazy Jews can really kick ass when angered.
Oh and I know, 29 is menopausal…didn’t you know?!
I-66–OH darling. you have and always will be a cool guy with no whining issues. And I love ya.
Shannon–Exactly. No one is perfect nor can we be expected to be. Its just too much. I am happy with me and hopefully those around me appreciate my care, efforts, and ME as a person.
100%.
Roissy–Ahh, you are good.
Career wise I’m the last person to complain about women. Particularly in my field. It’s true that a last in her class female programmer or engineer will beat out a male programmer or engineer for a job because of the huge shortage of females in the technical sciences. But as long as I have work I don’t care. I just hope that’ll bring more women into this field. It just sucks that the fully qualified and even the brilliant ones get treated like they’re all the unqualified ones.
With any luck I’ll be 60 years old and there’ll be tons of she-geeks and I’ll spend my later years bitching about how in my day there weren’t any and now I’m too old to enjoy it.
No, when you hear me whine about women it’s gonna be about the dating scene. Whatever happened to women who hated football? Why is it that I’m expected to put out on the first date? That strange woman just walked up to me, told me she’d never ever go out with me, and walked away. WTF!? (true story)
Cramps, bleeding, and overpriced clothing. I’m glad I’m not a woman. But I would appreciate having a formal wear option other than having to choose between 3 and 4 buttons on my suit.
Here comes your backlash wait for it wait for it wait…..
You’re one of those women who I feel can truly inspire and step up to the plate. Most seem to only be able to my sarcastic “hilarious” comments but can’t write anything of substance. I hope this new/old Kassy stays around for a while and keeps it going forward.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go put on my ski mask, sharpen up my knife, get some duct tape and wait for you in the back seat of your car…. Wait what?
Love your favorite whinny little bitch
VK
haha oh kassy so glad you are back!!! agreed about whiny boys - i had a whiny boy boss once who i wanted to consistanly pummel, hope that’s not where this came from haha
Ibid–I love your comment. Expressing yourself as a non whiny man AND making some valid points…that is the whole point of this here blogging stuff.
And who says you can’t wear a formal dress? KIDDING!
*A*–I missed me too!!!!!!! Haha I have an inkling I know who you mean…are big, green eyes involved? No, it was not inspired by anyone person…just a general women bashing I cannot deal with anymore.
Cannot wait to see you soon. XO
VK–Well, thank you.
I appreciate that comment…I hope to never be a whiny girl as well. While I have plenty of things to whine about generally (as do many guys)…I just don’t even want to be that girl that bashes men…or bashes women…
You know? And PS How did you know that a ski mask and duct tape was my idea of fun? You know me WAY too well….
It’s these knees. You do not want to see these poking out from under a skirt.
No, I need one of those huge “Gone With the Wind” dresses.
Kinda the same reason I was booted from the Hare Krishnas. Some people just don’t look good with a shaved head.
Welcome back, doll! Oh how we missed you and AMEN! I’m so sick of the fact that men, for all the hurt and pain they inflict on US suffer the tinest little set back and the world fucking comes to an end. Maddning!
IBid, see that’s just it, you have the dating scene to whine about. These are things that make you down, or hurt, but don’t ruin your life, I’d imagine. These factors are small, no offense, to what women go through and will go through increasingly throughout life. How would you feel if you were dumped…while pregnant or with a small baby? How would you feel if your boyfriend dated you for 3 years and never proposed? Have you ever seen the expression on a man’s face when there’s a positive sign on a pregnancy test? What about being in a marriage where your husband stops loving you? What about being the only one who cares about the children? What about being the one who does nearly everything?
The worst thing I’d say about being a woman…is the knowledge that I have a maximum on fun and passion and freedom. Motherhood is wonderful, as is wifehood, and those experiences I look forward to greatly. If a man walked a year in a woman’s shoes, he would hate a lot of what he sees. There is so much we do and will continue to put up with that you don’t even know or understand. That’s why we can’t stand whining…because it’s like Paris Hilton complaining about not having enough! It’s completely unfair and absurd. And we suck it up, and keep on going.
Please, enjoy being a man, especially a wealthy man in a free country. It’s a wonderful experience, even if you don’t think so a lot of the time. Your life is wonderful, just see it for the beauty that it is and quit complaining. It creates a really bad vibe in the atmosphere that brings everyone else down.
You know how there’s some people who seem harmless and inoffensive, seemingly nice people, but you just want to punch them for no reason? I’m that guy but for rejections.
But, yeah, knowing I’ll get rejected instead of just having that risk is my biggest problem. That’s because that’s the only problem I can’t do anything about.
I took steps to make sure that there wouldn’t be any pregnancy to be dumped during.
If the boyfriend doesn’t propose then you should. You want to be equal? It’s not restricted to the workplace.
A wife can stop loving her husband just as easily and just as often.
There’s plenty of women who don’t care about the children either.
If you’re allowing him to get out of his share of housework then you’re just as much to blame.
The only one putting a cap on your fun, passion, and freedom is you.
^ I sincerely wish all of that were true for most women. Theoretically, you are right. But realistically, I wish you were right. No, really, I really, really, really wish I could 100% agree with you on everything above. But life has taught me, from my experiences, and from many others’, is that it is not true. What many women do, and what I will do, is create a great world for themselves, that I can attest to. Many men would think this world is made out of pretty lies and frequent cognitive dissonance. Many men would never even imagine constructing such an existence. Why? They can have the existence without making it up out of pretty lies. And that, specifically, is the injustice. That’s why I don’t like whining.
Btw, I didn’t mean to single you out in my comment. The only thing I was specifically referring to you about was the rejection in dating part.
No worries. I don’t offend easily.
Similarly, this is not directed at you.
I do see a lot of women who have restrictions on their lives. Usually it’s for the same reasons I see minorities with restrictions on their lives. While there is bias against certain people doing certain things the big restrictions come due to choices.
I work with a lot of the neighbor kids (whether I want to or not they come to me). Most of them have already made many of the decisions that will rule their lives. DC schools suck but a few kids have worked past that. But that decision had to be made to do the work or just blame it on being black and the man keeping them down. A few still have a chance to do well if they buckle down in a military track.
I went to college with so many women who were just their to get their Mrs. degree. Now they’re trapped. Married, kids, not enough education to support them and herself if he leaves or she needs out. That summer in Paris is right out. And according to most (not all) of those women it’s her husband’s fault.
A woman (21) I worked with was putting herself through college despite getting through high school without ever turning on a computer. I made sure to help her with her homework since she was trying. Her boyfriend had landed a job working as a meat cutter in a grocery store. Not a high paying job but work. She was trying to get him in an electrician program so he could earn more. But he said he had a job, and to get off his back. He’s never gonna be able to retire or even take a vacation. According to him it’s the man keeping him down.
Some white guys I went to high school with went from Smallville High to the “big city” of Lawrence, KS and found themselves unable to take city living. They fled back to Podunkville and now never leave the county. They blame their high school counselor.
I have a parrot. I can’t take planes unless I find someone to take it so I drive back to Kansas. I can’t move out of the country and take her with me. So I can’t take a dream job in Australia without giving her up. My choice. I bought a house. It pretty much ties me to DC unless I take the months of work necessary to rid myself of it. I’m not free either. But it’s my fault.
I’m single because I can’t bring myself to put myself on the line to ask (and I’m not willing to say yes to any of the guys who ask me out). I could, and sometimes do, blame the men and women who did horrible things to me over the years. But it’s all down to me.
Ibid, I kind of wish the whole proposal concept would just disappear. Basically, it’s a whole weird power struggle. Woman waits and waits, guy has the power. Guy “pops the Question”, and woman has a brief moment of power. Just have a frickin’ conversation about marriage like two grownups.
The housework thing is a very big deal, and it’s not about laundry or letting anybody “get away with” anything. Nobody likes to feel taken advantage of or disrespected. Inequality builds resentment and pwer struggles, and resentment corrodes marriages. It was a contributing factor in my divorce, actually. And there’s no holding a gun to a man’s head and making him wash the dishes…in many marriages, you do it yourself or it doesn’t get done.
KassyK, the thing I find the most hilarious is how guys on your blog lambast you for not getting married at your old age, and then the same guys will turn around and start hating on marriage. They can’t even see that they are being negative on everything and trying to control other people’s lives. Perhaps they only want freedom of choice for themselves.
Anyway, reading comments from random men online really makes me feel lucky to be with the amazing man that I have. He gets angry when he thinks about women getting mistreated in backward countries, loves it when women are smart and gives me sympathy when I am on my period. He has so much love not just for me but for children, small animals, the elderly, and anyone who is suffering.
When men brag online about how awesome they are, then complain and whine about not meeting great women, I can’t help but wonder if it isn’t because they aren’t actually great themselves. When a man has an extremely high opinion of himself but has a low opinion of other people and women, he is nothing more than a narcissist.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080428084235.htm
“It was once thought that more self-esteem necessarily is better self-esteem. In recent years, however, high self-esteem per se has come under attack on several fronts, especially in areas such as aggressive behavior. Also, individuals with high self-esteem sometimes become very unlikable when others or events threaten their egos. Heightened defensiveness reflects insecurity, fragility and less-than-optimal functioning rather than a healthy psychological outlook.”
For real! I’ve had less and less time recently to catch up on blogs but its been something of a relief ’cause it has allowed me respite from comment sections laden with whining and complaining over at the regulars. There is only so many ways one can regurgitate “girls suck ’cause that 10 won’t suck my dick at hello”, or “Guys suck cause they can’t be real so why can’t they be more like they are in my fantasy?”, or “Why can’t your dick be as big as your brothers?”…and on…and on. Seriously, no one has a sense of humor anymore.
Ibid–Ahahaha, you wear a hoop skirt, I am paying money to see it.
Scarlett–I know. Its sooo out of control. I understand and am ok with feeling bad about something legitimate but after all the crap we deal with….to be blamed to EVERYTHING just because we have vaginas is just exhausting. Ay. I’m back.
Thanks!
Ibid and Rina–Both of you make very interesting points. I wish it was easier for us naturally as women but I also do know women who do put their own restrictions on their lives. Its hard out there for a lady these days.
Shannon–I could not agree more about housework. That is soooo true. It is about respect…not the “man” role or the “woman” role but just treating each other with kindness and understanding regardless of the gender. Thank you for making that point, which I think it valid and important and people need to think more about in their relationships.
Hope–I feel the same way about Chef. And it makes me so happy to hear you are with a kind and empathetic man as well…especially in the plight for women being treated not just well, but as human beings (which is not the case in many war torn countries around the world).
I think there are lots of amazing non whiny guys out there that do care…its just to have to sort through them when I am reading the comments like you mentioned from guys who tell me I am OLD at 29 but do not plan to settle down…EVER is exhausting and makes me sad.
And I love that link and quote. Thank. I needed that today.
DF–Hehehehe. I love that comment. Seriously DF, you might have inadvertently won BEST COMMENT OF THE MONTH. Thank you for that. You speak the truth, and I love it.
Nice thoughts, but in some instances you are statistically wrong. Men are more often victims of violent crimes than women and far far more men do dangerous jobs and die on those jobs. The majority of retanded and autistic people are male, as are the majority of people in prison. Also, men live less long than women in the Western world, and are far far more likely to commit suicide.
And then there is the problem that when men try to logically impart such statistics, women claim they’re “whining,” when women, of course, get to express their feelings in society.
Please see the Glenn Sacks blog for backup statistic info on my assertions.
DOBA, not to get all Mars n’ Venus on you, but if a woman is trying to express her feelings and vent a bit, and a man comes along to “logically impart such statistics,” well, all hell usually breaks loose. I usually feel like the guy’s patting me on the head and offering to buy me a pretty hat. Nothing drives women crazier than being written off.
I’m not one to dig up individual stats and facts and claim they mean men or women have it worse/better/whatever overall. Like, there are more mentally disabled men, so, that’s like, 20 points, but women are more likely to have eating disorders, so, hey, that’s like 15 points right there, etc. That sort of debate could go on forever and it’s counterproductive. Historically, men have had a bigger piece of the pie, and now they have to share. Which I’m sure grates, but hey, it’s not the end of the world.
“The majority of retanded [sic] and autistic people are male,”
Clearly you haven’t met some of the women I’ve slept with.
“…[Men] are the majority of people in prison.”
And who’s fault is that?
“Also, men live less long than women in the Western world,”
Sure, by only a handful of years. I’m sure grandma is gonna hit the club as soon as grandpa kicks the bucket to make use of all that extra time.
“…and are far far more likely to commit suicide.”
Maybe I don’t understand the mechanics of suicide properly but last I checked no one else is pulling the trigger in that scenario.
DoBA, you’re anger flows through the comments you regularly post but when you’re wife leaves you and takes half of your 30K per year paycheck the last thing you want to hear is how tough women have had it in the past.
Thank you DF…we were commenting at the same time but agreed completely.
We can piss STANDING UP… that’s enough to keep me from whining.
Kass, yet another shout-out for you today:
http://shannonstamey.blogspot.com/2008/05/gender-riffic-pity-party.html
We’re resolving the whole shebang, once and for all.
DaysofBA–I didn’t give any stats, just feelings of how much easier on a day to day scale it is for men than women naturally and culturally.
Like Shannon said…sharing a piece of the pie is part of your life now when historically it has not been before.
Also–I am talking about fears. Most men do not wake up and fear walking to their car because they might get raped. Sorry you just don’t. You are also for the most part treated as more than just a penis which is not the case for us on a regular basis.
You have so much less to prove on a daily basis.
Also–you do not have to look perfect and you do not get a period. Again. Natural things you do not have to deal with.
And the reason there are more men in jail is because men are statistically more VIOLENT. Those crimes against men are predominantly caused by other men.
As for men in dangerous jobs…I am not sure how that has anything to do with what I am saying. Those men CHOSE those jobs. Just like women who are in dangerous jobs (hooking/cops) CHOSE them.
That being said–I love love love good guys who get it. And I love men. I just wish more understood.
Many guys just don’t and complain that a girl won’t drop their pants for them just because the guy gives them a “look.” And hence she must be frigid or a bitch. Its just ridiculous.
Sorry for the rant…I just had to get that out…
Shannon–Thank you!
shannon whined:
Historically, men have had a bigger piece of the pie
that depends on how you define pie.
otherwise, DOBA is right on all the points. if you include prison rape, men probably also beat women in those suffering sweepstakes as well.
speaking of whining, it’s funny when someone complains about it then one sentence later whines herself. and i’m not just looking at you, schoolmarm shannon.
btw, men not being able to find sexual relief is equivalent to women not being able to find love relief. that friendly reminder was for girls like rina who have trouble suppressing their egos.
Men and women both have it hard, just in somewhat different ways biologically. In the end, we’re in this boat together. If it sinks, we all do.
We don’t think of ourselves as socioeconomic units or being so influenced by society as a whole, but we are. The economy is not doing so hot. Cost of food is up, in contrast to the past. Cost of housing is way up. That does have some impact on people’s stress levels, men and women’s.
A lot of people now are opting out of marriage and children. More men overtly say this, of course, and they tend to frame it as a personal choice thing. Women also are saying they choose to delay marriage. But so many people are choosing it because it is economically rational. Many people with kids are really struggling.
I’ve been reading men a lot of places saying how women should get married before they’re 30, should have kids, and that the country’s birth rate is down without immigration. But those very same men are unwilling to ever get married or have kids. Women are not really finding any men who want marriage and kids, and a lot of women decide to just do the economically sensible thing which is work.
At the same time the economic realities of the family unit make it pretty much impossible for the middle class family to not have two incomes, which means less time for childcare, for marriage, for relationships in general. Not a lot to be done about it. It is what it is.
Roissy, what I was trying to say is that it’s a little ridiculous to pick out one or two things (like prison rape), then stretch it out to say Men (or Women) Have It Worse. It’s better to look at the whole, instead of reducing it to such little bits that it means nothing.
As for the other stuff, if you have an issue with me personally, you’re welcome to email me and we’ll discuss offline.
As for the other stuff, if you have an issue with me personally, you’re welcome to email me and we’ll discuss offline.
why would i do that? i’m having fun thrashing you right here in public.
anyhow, don’t flatter yourself. i have nothing against you personally. all i know about you are your words here. you just represent, quite convincingly i might add, an archetype i enjoy kicking the legs out from under.
oh, and i do it to men, too. see: david alexander, beta extraordinaire.
Hope–I love your comment. I agree with every thing you mentioned…its not easy for women, for men…for anyone really besides a select few…and it is what it is…I am just tired of those guys who refuse to settle down and be with a women talking about how women should already be married and with kids by 30…its such a contradiction to whine about things they are doing to themselves and us…and just the whining in general.
We all have our issues as individuals and within in our genders and your points explain that perfectly. Thank you.
Roissy,
Just give it up. Trust me! Just tell Shannon she is the funniest woman alive and most original. It’s better than having to put up with sarcasm from now till the end of fucking time on the same subject. So say whatever she wants to hear. Everyone is perfect. Women can do everything a man can do but better. Unicorns are pretty and we should all chase butterflies and eat skittles under a marshmallow rainbow in Narnia
Hope, as ever, you make some great points. It’s hard to think of ourselves as social trends and economic units (hey, I had a quarterlife crisis, a starter marriage, AND I work in a traditionally female job! Check it out!). We’re all supposed to be special snowflakes.
And I’m with you on the hypocrisy. I laugh my ass off at the men who claim women have to marry early, then won’t settle down themselves. It’s like they think unmarried women are just being petulant, and the second we want marriage a man will just materialize out of the ether.
There’s also a special place in hypocrisy Hades for the Phyllis Schaflys of the world - women must marry and stay home with their babies, BUT I’m going to have a public career, I’m somehow exempt from everything I just said! (I know that doesn’t really relate to much of anything, so sorry.)
And, we urinate on your toilet seats.
“It’s like they think unmarried women are just being petulant, and the second we want marriage a man will just materialize out of the ether.”
US women expect to marry men their age. A man at 23 isn’t ready for marriage, whereas a woman is. Women should look for men who are 5-12 years older than them for marriage. So a 23 year old woman who wants to marry should look at guys around 30.
Phil–I actually find that endearing.
Gannon–Most women ARE NOT ready for marriage at 23. That is the most ridiculous statement ever. We live to 70-80 on average. Who knows what they want at 23?! FOREVER!?
The fact you keep saying that is ridiculous. The reason 29 is the median divorce rate in America is because women marry too young.
Until you BECOME a woman, stop saying what we feel and think.
You do not know. That is all. I like you and I think you are a nice person but the fact that you claim to know what we want and feel drives me INSANE.